This past Saturday we were at a festival for IFHY. Because the short uses the F-Word a few times it was paired with other “R” rated films which just happened to be the most ultra violent, misogynistic, offensive, racist, and insensitive films I have ever seen together. By the time that our film finally screened after sitting through 2 hours of this, I was left feeling really angry at what I had just experienced and even more enraged about how mis-programmed our short was.
All of the films leading up to ours were not only the antithesis of IFHY but pretty much go against what Sabi is all about, not to mention common decency. The audience was confused during IFHY because the previous 2 hours had desensitized everyone and trained them not to trust what they were watching.
So I have been trying to shake these negative feelings and just move forward and dive back into Heart of Now. I got to the office early this morning and Zak informed me that he wanted to try broadcasting from the bay, an idea I was not crazy about. A few minutes after the camera went live in the bay I read a message from a poster talking about strippers. Given the weekend I had just experienced I was not in the mood for that kind of commentary, but tried to forget about it and focus on the film. Then a half an hour later an anonymous poster asked Zak why he would let a woman cut his film.
At first I ignored it, not wanting to feed into the poster’s neanderthal ignorance, but eventually it seeped in and affected me. Then Zak read the comment, and thankfully that was the end of the outside world’s view into the bay.
From a young age we are taught to look for similarities and differences (one of these things is not like the others). So I guess it should not be as surprising to me that some people still discriminate by class, race, and gender. But that by no means makes it right. And whether the poster was looking for a cheap laugh, or actually believes that a female is incapable of editing a film I don’t really care. But I am hurt, disappointed, and drained. I was hoping that by the end of this entry I would feel better and be over it, but I gotta say I still feel blah. At least through all of this Zak managed to maintain a clear head and reply to the poster why he in fact specifically chose to have a woman cut this film. By being a female I have more insight, skill, and yes sensitivity, in telling the story of a young woman than any man could, and I will support that kind of gender discrimination and discernment any day of the week.